I have tried to write about this twice. Each time, I am overwhelmed at trying to convey my thoughts and feelings. I am determined to post this one. Promise.
We are trying to conceive (TTC). It is one of the hardest things I have ever tried to do. Not only is it physically draining (get your head outta tha gutta!), but it is extremely emotionally draining. I have never in my life been so consumed with my cycle.
I got on the pill in my late teens to attempt to make my irregular, painful, long periods on time, less painful, and shorter. I had been on the pill for about 14 years. 14 years. Wow. Now that I am off them, I am updating my iPhone app about the slightest symptom. Tracking, tracking, tracking. It is helpful, but a curse.
Last cycle I was late. Could I be? I didn't feel any different. I tried to be practical, we only have been trying a little while. I took a test and it was instantly negative. All the practicality I was trying to demonstrate flew out the door and I was devastated. I cried.
There are so many things that go through your mind. If only I wasn't overweight and unhealthy all those years... All those 16 year old girls get pregnant at the drop of a hat... What if we can't...
Sometimes I really wish there was a switch to flip on and off for my brain. Instead, I just try to take it cycle by cycle... onto the next one.
No worries, when the time comes, it will happen!!!! You should probably go back to Dominica and drink the water because apparently everyone and their mother was getting prego there. LOL. But, we are all here for you and Sam!!! It will be Amazing. But also enjoy Sam before it is No longer just the two of you. And have crazy sex now before you have no energy!! Loveu both.
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