Thursday, July 28, 2011

Third Times a Charm... Right?

I have tried to write about this twice. Each time, I am overwhelmed at trying to convey my thoughts and feelings. I am determined to post this one. Promise.

We are trying to conceive (TTC). It is one of the hardest things I have ever tried to do. Not only is it physically draining (get your head outta tha gutta!), but it is extremely emotionally draining. I have never in my life been so consumed with my cycle.

I got on the pill in my late teens to attempt to make my irregular, painful, long periods on time, less painful, and shorter. I had been on the pill for about 14 years. 14 years. Wow. Now that I am off them, I am updating my iPhone app about the slightest symptom. Tracking, tracking, tracking. It is helpful, but a curse.

Last cycle I was late. Could I be? I didn't feel any different. I tried to be practical, we only have been trying a little while. I took a test and it was instantly negative. All the practicality I was trying to demonstrate flew out the door and I was devastated. I cried.

There are so many things that go through your mind. If only I wasn't overweight and unhealthy all those years... All those 16 year old girls get pregnant at the drop of a hat... What if we can't...

Sometimes I really wish there was a switch to flip on and off for my brain. Instead, I just try to take it cycle by cycle... onto the next one.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Everglades

A bunch of us celebrated the first day of summer by going the Everglades~

Mike, Sam, Burke, Zak, Sindy, Paige, Michael, Analeah

snapping turtle

vultures (reminds me of The Birds... eek!!!)

huge grasshopper

alligator

trying to figure out who would be the tastiest

coming to get us